Your Guide to Helping Your Parents With Their Estate Plan

Jun 15

If you've been wanting to talk with your parents about their plan but haven't quite found the right way in, you're in good company. Most families mean to get to this, but life gets busy and it feels hard.

Here is everything Mitzi has put together on this topic: how to open the conversation without it feeling like a takeover, what tends to go out of date in older documents, two well-intentioned moves that can backfire, and what to understand if your parents have named you as their agent.

Around 80% of estate administration falls on women. If your parents haven't set things up, there's a good chance you'll be the one navigating the paperwork, the banks, the hospitals, and the decisions, often under stress, often without the right documents to make any of it easier.

None of what follows is about taking over or managing your parents' affairs. It is about being an informed, supportive partner in a conversation that benefits the whole family, including your parents, who deserve to have their wishes known, documented, and followed.

This is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Estate planning laws vary by state. Mitzi is not a law firm. Please consult a licensed attorney for guidance specific to your situation.

Start here: how to have the conversation

The hardest part of supporting your parents with estate planning is usually not the paperwork. It is starting the conversation in a way that feels collaborative rather than intrusive, and that centers your parents' own wishes and autonomy throughout.

Talk, Plan and Protect: How to Help Your Parents Get Ready for What's Next

The most comprehensive guide Mitzi has put together on this topic. Mitzi founder and trust and estates attorney Katie Katz covers how to frame the conversation, the 5 questions worth working through over time, what documents matter most, and how to approach this when your parents have an old plan, live in a different state, or come from a blended family. An important reminder from this guide: you can help your parents understand what kinds of documents are worth considering, but your parents are the ones who make their own decisions and sign their own documents. Your role is to open the door, not to walk through it for them.

If your parents have a plan, here is what is worth understanding together

Many families discover that documents exist but have not been revisited in years. The people named in them may have moved, passed away, or simply no longer be the right choice. These conversations happen with your parents, not about them.

4 Things I Found When I Went Through My Parents' Estate Plan With Them

Katie sat down with her own parents and went through their plan together. Four things came up that were worth a closer look, including an outdated power of attorney, an unsigned trust amendment, a deed nobody could locate, and an account with no beneficiary named. None of it was anyone's fault, and all of it was fixable. This piece is useful for understanding what kinds of gaps tend to surface, and how to approach that conversation as a family.

Dad Has a Trust From the 90s… Here Are Three Things Worth Flagging

Trusts from decades ago tend to have three things that go out of date over time: the backup person named to manage the trust, language around digital assets that did not exist yet, and tax provisions written for rules that have since changed. None of this is about finding fault. It is about understanding what a fresh look with the drafting attorney might surface.

Two situations that are worth knowing about before they come up

Two of the most well-intentioned moves families consider can create problems nobody anticipated. These pieces are shared widely because the gaps they describe are almost never obvious in advance.

Why Adding Yourself to Mom's Bank Account Can Backfire

When a parent needs help managing finances, adding a family member as a joint account holder can feel like the practical solution. It is worth understanding the potential consequences before taking that step, including how joint accounts can interact with a will, what happens if the family member has their own financial difficulties, and how joint ownership can sometimes affect Medicaid eligibility. A financial power of attorney is commonly used as an alternative that gives a trusted person the ability to help without changing who owns the account.

Your Beneficiary Designations Probably Override Your Will. Here's What That Means

POD and TOD designations on bank and investment accounts generally take precedence over a will. If those forms have not been revisited in years, the names on file may no longer reflect a parent's current wishes. This piece explains how these designations work and what tends to go out of date, as background for a conversation your parents may want to have with their financial institution or attorney.

If you have been named as your parent's agent

Being named as someone's power of attorney agent is a meaningful responsibility. Most people receive the notice and sign without fully understanding what they are agreeing to. This piece covers what is worth knowing first.

Three Things to Check Before You Sign as Someone's Power of Attorney

Who is the backup if you are unavailable? When does the document actually take effect? Does it cover what you would realistically need to do? Three questions worth understanding before you accept the role, and why asking the drafting attorney is always a reasonable step.

While you are thinking about your parents, think about your own plan too

Everything on this page applies to your own documents as well. A financial power of attorney, a healthcare power of attorney, and a living will are documents every adult benefits from having in place, not just aging parents.

If you live in Michigan, Mitzi can guide you through creating your own foundational documents today, at your own pace, without a law firm appointment. Get started in the Mitzi app.

Not in Michigan yet? Take our Prepare to Plan Quiz for a free personalized checklist of what you and your family actually need. We will let you know the moment Mitzi is live in your state.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where should I start when helping my parents with estate planning?
The most useful first step is usually starting the conversation, not the documents. Understanding whether your parents have anything in place, and what their wishes are, is the foundation everything else builds on. That conversation happens with your parents and at their pace. For a full guide to approaching it, see Talk, Plan and Protect at hellomitzi.com/resources/talk-plan-amp-protect-how-to-help-your-parents-get-ready-for-whats-next.

What documents do parents most commonly need to revisit?
Two documents tend to be missing or out of date most often: a healthcare power of attorney and a financial power of attorney. These name someone to help with medical and financial decisions if a parent is ever unable to. Even families who have a will in place often have a gap here. Your parents would work with an estate planning attorney or a tool like Mitzi to put these in place or update them.

What if my parents already have an estate plan from years ago?
An older plan is a starting point, not a finished one. The people named in it may have passed away or no longer be the right choice. Tax laws have changed. It is generally worth your parents revisiting what they have together with the attorney who drafted it, or a new estate planning attorney, to confirm it still reflects their current wishes. This is their decision to make and their documents to update.

Can I just add myself to my parent's bank account to help them?
This is one of the most common questions and one of the most important to understand before taking any action. Joint accounts can interact with a will in ways that are sometimes unintended, and there are other considerations around liability and Medicaid eligibility worth knowing about. A financial power of attorney is commonly used as an alternative. Any changes to accounts would be your parent's decision to make. For a full explanation, see hellomitzi.com/resources/talk-plan-amp-protect-how-to-help-your-parents-get-ready-for-whats-next-dz85m.

What is a power of attorney and how is it different from being named in a will?
A power of attorney is a document that gives someone the legal authority to act on another person's behalf while they are alive, for medical or financial decisions. A will directs what happens to a person's assets after they pass away. The two documents serve different purposes and address different stages. Your parents would be the ones to create and sign these documents, naming whoever they choose.

What should I do if I have been named as my parent's power of attorney agent?
Being named as someone's agent is a significant responsibility that is worth understanding before you formally accept it. Reviewing the document with the attorney who drafted it is a reasonable step before signing. For a plain-English guide to what to look for, see hellomitzi.com/resources/what-to-check-before-signing-as-power-of-attorney.

How do I bring up estate planning without it becoming a difficult conversation?
Framing the conversation around your parents' own wishes and peace of mind tends to go better than framing it around logistics or paperwork. Making it personal, asking when they last looked at their plan, and choosing a quiet moment rather than a family gathering are approaches that tend to open the door without anyone feeling defensive. The goal throughout is your parents' clarity and autonomy, not control over their decisions.

Katie Katz