4 Things I Found When I Went Through My Parents' Estate Plan With Them (And What to Talk About With Your Own)

Jun 5

By Katie Katz, Attorney and Founder of Mitzi

My parents set up their estate plan years ago, long before I was in the field as an estate planning attorney. They worked with a great attorney, they signed the documents, and then a lot of it just sat untouched.

When the time came to sit down and go through their plan together, I expected most of it to still hold up. What I found surprised me. Not because anyone had done anything wrong, but because plans get older, lives change, and the documents don't update themselves.

Here is what stood out for us, and what can be helpful to understand together if you ever sit down to talk with your own parents about the plan they have in place.

This is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Estate planning laws vary by state. Mitzi is not a law firm. Please consult a licensed attorney for guidance specific to your situation.

My Dad's Power of Attorney Named Someone He Hadn't Spoken to in Years

A power of attorney (POA) is commonly used to authorize someone to handle your finances if you cannot. That person is generally called the agent. If you become incapacitated, whether temporarily or permanently, the agent is who can pay bills, talk to the bank, file taxes, and generally keep your financial life running.

My dad's named agent was a former business partner. The document itself was still in effect on paper. The relationship behind it had gone stale.

This matters more than people realize, because the role of agent is not just legal. It is practical. The right agent generally needs to be three things at once: willing to step in, available to step in, and someone your loved ones can actually reach. A name on a document from fifteen years ago may not satisfy any of those.

Names like this fall out of date all the time. People retire, move, drift, sometimes pass away.

POAs are commonly recommended for a fresh look every few years.

Their Trust Was Out of Date on Who's Actually in Charge

A trust is a legal arrangement that holds assets and says who manages and receives them. The person who manages those assets is generally called the trustee. While my parents are alive and well, they are generally the trustees of their own trust. The more important question is who steps in if they cannot be: the successor trustees.

My parents had been thinking about updating their successor trustees. There were paper drafts found in their files. There were emails between my parents and their attorney about the changes. What was missing: signatures.

This is one of the most common gaps. An unsigned draft generally has no legal effect, regardless of how thoughtful the changes were. If a successor trustee needs to step in tomorrow, the document that typically controls is the one that was actually signed, with the original names.

In my parents' case, the backup successor named on the signed version was the attorney who drafted the trust. That attorney had since passed away.

Successor trustees are the safety net of a trust. When they are out of date, the safety net has holes.

Nobody Could Find the Deed to the House, and the Way My Parents Thought It Was Titled Turned Out to Be Wrong

The deed to a home is the legal document that records ownership. How the property is titled, meaning whose name is on it and in what arrangement, can shape how it passes to the next person.

Two things were off here.

First, nobody could find it. Not in my parents' files. Not with their attorney. We eventually tracked down a copy through the county. If my parents had needed that deed quickly, it would have been a scramble.

Second, my parents' memory of how the home was titled turned out to be different from what the deed actually said. This happens more often than people realize, because most homeowners sign their closing documents once and never look at them again. Property can be held in different ways: solely, jointly with rights of survivorship, as tenants in common, or in a trust. Each arrangement generally affects how the home passes when an owner dies. Some passings are smooth. Some get stuck in probate.

It is worth confirming how a home is titled, rather than assuming. And it is worth knowing where the deed actually lives.

One of My Mom's Accounts Had No Beneficiary Named

A beneficiary designation is a form attached to certain accounts, including retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank or brokerage accounts that allow a payable on death instruction. The form says where the money goes when the account holder passes.

Beneficiary designations generally take precedence over what is written in a will. The institution typically sends the money to whoever is named on the form, regardless of what the will says. That is why these small forms matter so much. They are often the fastest, simplest way to keep an account out of probate.

My mom had an individual account she had held for years. No beneficiary was named.

Without that designation, the account may have to go through probate when she passes. Probate is the court process for transferring assets, and it can be time-consuming, costly, and public. Anything that goes through it tends to slow down before reaching the people who were meant to receive it.

Beneficiary designations generally take only a few minutes to set up. They are one of the highest-leverage, lowest-effort steps in any estate plan, and one of the most commonly overlooked.

The Reassuring Part

My parents did nothing wrong. They set this up years ago to protect themselves and their family. They worked with a good attorney. They paid attention.

And then life moved on. Their relationships changed. The people they would have chosen as their backup decision-makers changed. Some things they signed got out of date, and some things they meant to sign never got signed.

This is exactly why sitting down to talk through a plan together generally matters. Not because anyone failed. Because plans need maintenance.

If your parents have a plan, that is already more than most families. But a plan from ten or twenty years ago may not reflect the people, relationships, and assets that matter today. You do not have to be the lawyer in the family to bring this up. You just have to ask them when they last looked.

If you live in Michigan, you can create your own foundational estate planning documents, including powers of attorney, today in the Mitzi app, starting at $99 right here. If you are anywhere else, take our Prepare to Plan Quiz for a free personalized checklist. We will also add you to our waitlist so we can let you know the minute we are live in your state.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should a power of attorney be reviewed?

A power of attorney is commonly recommended for a fresh look every few years, and especially after major life events such as the named agent retiring, moving, passing away, or experiencing a significant change in their own life. The agent generally needs to be willing, available, and reachable, so an outdated relationship is worth revisiting even if the document itself is generally still valid.

What does a successor trustee do?

A successor trustee is the person or institution that steps in to manage a trust when the original trustee cannot, whether because of incapacity, resignation, or death. For most revocable living trusts, the person who created the trust is generally the original trustee while they are alive and able. Successor trustees are commonly named in the trust document and typically take over according to the order listed.

Are unsigned estate planning documents legally enforceable?

Generally, no. Drafts of estate planning documents typically have no legal effect until they are properly executed, which usually means signed and, depending on the document and state, witnessed or notarized. If the most recent signed version of a document is outdated, that version is generally the one that controls.

How can I find out how my home is titled?

The deed to a home, which is a public record, is generally the document that confirms how a property is titled. Copies are typically available through the county recorder or registrar of deeds where the property is located. Reviewing the actual deed, rather than relying on memory, is commonly recommended.

Do beneficiary designations override a will?

In most cases, yes. Beneficiary designations on accounts, including retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and accounts with payable on death or transfer on death designations, generally take precedence over what is written in a will. The institution typically pays out to whoever is named on the account form, regardless of what a will says.

What happens to an account with no beneficiary named?

If an account has no beneficiary named and the account holder passes away, the account generally becomes part of the estate and may go through probate. Probate is the court process for transferring assets and can be time-consuming, costly, and public. Naming a beneficiary, including a contingent beneficiary as a backup, is commonly recommended to help avoid this outcome.

How do I bring up the estate plan with my parents?

A common approach is to make it personal: share that you are getting your own documents in order and ask what they have in place. Framing it as wanting to be prepared, rather than wanting to take over, tends to make the conversation easier to start. Talking about planning before there is a health emergency or traumatic event is generally one of the most effective things adult children can do to help prevent conflict and confusion later.

Katie Katz