Get Planned, Prepared & Protected: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Estate Planning

Mar 16

What would happen to you if something went wrong tomorrow? Who would make your medical decisions? Who would take care of your kids? These are the questions Mitzi founder and trust and estates attorney Katie Katz explored in a recent virtual event. Here's what she covered, in plain English.

This article is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Estate planning laws vary by state. Mitzi is not a law firm. Please consult a licensed attorney for guidance specific to your situation.

First, let's clear something up.

Most people think estate planning is about what happens after you die. But some of the most important parts of estate planning are the conversations and decisions you make about what happens while you're alive.

Estate planning is about who talks to your doctors if you can't communicate — whether you're in a coma or even in a planned surgery. It's about who steps in for your financial life if you're hospitalized or unable to manage your affairs: calling a credit card company about fraud, managing a business you operate, making sure your rent gets paid. Without a plan that designates an emergency decision maker, there can be financial loss from that gap — and all the emotional loss and conflict that comes from things being unclear within families and within legal systems.

Estate planning is also the what-ifs around who takes care of your children, who knows your wishes when it comes down to somebody else making decisions for you, and whether the people making those decisions are the ones you'd want.

Statistically, you are far more likely to become incapacitated — whether temporarily because you're hospitalized, or because of something that affects capacity as you get older — than to die in an unforeseen accident. If you take one thing from this, let estate planning be something you think about for your life as well as for death.

The documents that matter most

Different states use different names for these documents, but here is what they do practically.

Healthcare Power of Attorney

Sometimes called a designation of patient advocate or healthcare proxy, this document is commonly used to name someone you trust to make medical decisions for you if you can't make them for yourself. These documents are typically only effective while you're alive but unable to communicate — when you're in a coma, in surgery, or otherwise unable to speak for yourself. While you're alive and able to communicate, you make all of your own health decisions.

Financial Power of Attorney

This document is designed to allow you to name someone to handle money and logistics if you're unable to — paying bills, managing accounts, filing taxes, dealing with insurance. These documents can be set up to be effective right away, giving someone the ability to help you during your life if you ask them to. Think of a scenario where you're traveling overseas with spotty Wi-Fi and someone needs to handle a fraud alert on your account or pay a bill at home. That's a practical, everyday use of this document. These are powerful documents, so it's important to choose someone you really trust.

A note for married couples: a lot of people ask whether a spouse could get into their accounts if something happened. If you have joint accounts, typically yes. But many spouses keep individual accounts where their partner is not a co-owner. In that case, there could be a serious time lapse before a bank or financial institution would allow that spouse access — or they may not allow it at all. Having a financial power of attorney that designates your spouse is worth considering for those individual accounts.

Guardianship Designation

Guardianship typically covers physical and legal custody, and it generally applies to children under 18. For parents of young children, this is one of the most important documents to consider having in place. A guardianship designation is most commonly included in a will, but some states also allow it to be made in a separate standalone document. The rules vary by state, so it's worth understanding what options are available where you live — and consulting an attorney if you have questions about what's right for your situation. The problem Katie has seen in the most difficult scenarios isn't that nobody would step up — it's that everybody would. Your parents, your spouse's parents, your siblings, your friends — those disputes can become contentious, drawn-out, emotional court cases. This kind of conflict is largely avoidable by putting your wishes in writing. You can always change your designation later.

What matters most at every life stage

Estate planning is not a one-size-fits-all conversation. Here is what tends to matter most depending on where you are right now.

If you are single

If you're single and something happened, someone would need to talk to your doctor, call your insurance, make sure your rent is paid, and notify your employer. A lot of benefits and protections run through your employer — without someone able to communicate on your behalf, you could miss out on important things, including employment protections. If you're unmarried, you may not have a default emergency decision maker the way married couples sometimes do. None of this has to do with your net worth. What matters is having a clear first decision maker for medical situations, a first decision maker for financial matters, and a backup for each.

If you have an unmarried partner or chosen family

You may not be in a legal relationship with your partner or the rest of your chosen family, but estate planning documents like a healthcare power of attorney or a financial power of attorney can be used to name the people you'd actually want making decisions for you. Without these documents, decision-making authority may default to family members as defined by state law — which may not reflect your wishes. Getting your preferences in writing is one of the most important steps you can take.

If you are married or partnered

The key question to think through is whether your partner actually has the authority to do what you'd want them to do if something happened. Even in a marriage, that's not always automatic — especially for individual bank accounts, retirement accounts, or financial decisions beyond day-to-day access. It's also worth noting that, in most cases, each person generally needs their own set of documents. A single power of attorney typically can't cover both spouses. Your documents can be mirror images of each other, but each partner having their own set helps ensure both of you are protected.

If you have children

For parents of young children, a guardianship designation is worth prioritizing. This document is commonly used to name who you'd want to care for your children if you weren't able to. Beyond guardianship, it's also a good time to think about the broader picture: who would manage finances on behalf of your kids, and have you named beneficiaries on your accounts with your children's care in mind? Starting with the guardianship question — who would you want, and who would you not want — is often the most motivating step. And remember, you can always change it later.

If you are expecting a baby

This is a natural moment to have these conversations with your partner. Framing it as logistics rather than a conversation about death can make it easier to start: if one of us were in the hospital tomorrow, or if one of us were not in the picture, what would we want to happen — and how can we make that clearer and easier for someone to step into?

If your parents are aging

Many women are trying to figure out how to be proactive in helping their parents get organized. If something happens to your parents and their documents aren't in place while they are healthy and able to sign, you may not be able to step in and help them when they need it most. One way to open that conversation: make it personal. Share that you're getting organized yourself and ask what they have in place. Talking about planning before there's a health emergency or a traumatic event is one of the most effective things you can do to help prevent conflict and financial loss later.

If you are divorced or have had a major life change

Divorce is a major pivot point for revisiting your plan — but so is marriage, a new baby, a death in the family, a significant health event, a financial change, or moving to a new state. Any of those can be a good reason to review your documents. Beneficiary designations are one area that's easy to overlook: even if you update your estate planning documents, beneficiary designations on things like your 401(k) or life insurance are typically separate. It's generally a good idea to review those independently to make sure they reflect your current wishes.

When to update your plan

An annual check-in is a good rhythm — look at whether your decision makers still make sense, whether anything major has happened in your life, and whether your financial and digital accounts are up to date. Every five years or so is a good time to consider whether your plan needs more significant updates to reflect where you are now. One of the biggest challenges is that there's very little information and education out there about when and how to revisit your plan — which is part of why Mitzi exists.

Where to start

The number one thing Katie has heard from women across focus groups and throughout her career is overwhelm. That's fair. But you can start simply: just think about the people. Who do you trust? Who would you want making decisions for you?

A helpful tip: don't try to plan for every what-if. Think about what makes sense if something were to happen to you in the next two years. Get something down. It doesn't have to be perfect, and you can always change it. Most people change their plan many times over the course of their lives.

If you can do one thing this week, start here: think about who you'd want as your healthcare decision maker, who you'd want as your financial decision maker (and a backup), and when you last reviewed your beneficiaries.

What Mitzi does

Mitzi is a self-guided digital tool that walks you through creating your foundational estate planning documents online, in plain English, in under an hour. Mitzi is currently available for Michigan residents, with plans for expansion to additional states. Michiganders: get started here. If you live elsewhere, join our waitlist to be notified when Mitzi is available in your state.

Watch the full webinar

If you want to hear Katie walk through all of this in her own words, including the topics our community asked about most, the full recording is available here.

Have a question we didn't cover? We'd love to hear it. Every question helps us make Mitzi better and make this information more accessible. Reach us at help@hellomitzi.com.

Katie Katz